He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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