Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
did i just pee glitter
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
