when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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