yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
