How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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