She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
