idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
