I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
