these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
