ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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