I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
