Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
