I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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