***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
