Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also, beer. Big fan.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
