You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize