If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
