I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
