I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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