i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
