i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
