You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
