The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
