You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize