'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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