My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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