So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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