Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
MIDGETS
????
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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