You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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