you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
