you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
