you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
