i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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