Nicole vs. Life
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
