My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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