i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
