Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
