I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
