All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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