There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
