guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
