what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
