Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
