I want to make a zoo with you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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