The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
