he shaved USA in his pubs
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
