You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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