Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
