I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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