Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
