Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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