my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
