I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
