my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
