I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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