she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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