Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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