I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
