so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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