For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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