Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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