***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
