I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
