Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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