walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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